Magnetic Principles #0: How To Improve Your Relationships With People?

Song of the week

Song: Step Out by José González

Mood: About to fall off a cliff into the sea

Tastes: Fresh and minty


How to get people to like you?

First of all, you shouldn’t live to get people to like you.

I’ve been trying to seek God in my relationships. Relationships with people I like and with people I don’t. Platonic relationships as well as romantic relationships.

Recently, I met someone. I remember the first time I met this person. He wasn’t as tall as I preferred and what not. But I didn’t let that decide. It wasn’t my ultimatum.

My ultimatum was God’s opinion. And so, before we started going anywhere, I was looking for God’s will in this. I asked God “If this isn’t what you want, if this is going to end in heartbreak and trauma, then don’t even let it start.”

Now that things have ended, I’ve been looking for what I’ve learnt from this.


In the midsts of all this, I felt like something was wrong. Something was missing. I felt empty despite the attention; the kind of emptiness that stems from being alone. I wasn’t physically alone, neither was I emotionally alone.

It was a loneliness I’m familiar with, one that I’ve learnt that can never be eradicated entirely from my life. It just keeps eating away at me if I don’t continually top up my heart with something in my heart.

It was the feeling of abandonment and loneliness that supersedes the attention of my friends and loved ones.

It was a kind of emptiness I’ve known before I met Christ. And a kind of emptiness I feel when I listen to too much secular music or don’t spend enough time alone with God.

And so, I prayed to try to fill it up.

That makes sense right? That spending time with God will fill me up. It helped.

In the midsts of my prayer, while I was looking out my windows in the darkness of my room so that I could see the stars, I realized that being in God’s presence was all that I need to feel full. But how do I stay full?

What matters is how full I am when I’m not praying or worshiping; in the middle of my day at work, or when I’m out with my friends; in the middle of the mundane.

Therefore, it’s not about what or where I prayed, but about what I prayed with and where I prayed from, figuratively. Not physically, but spiritually. It’s about where I keep the word of the Lord in my heart.

In essence, my heart had to be right with God to allow the love of God to flow into my life.

More fundamentally, that means to have a strong, righteous, and committed relationship with God.

Being right with God allows love to flows in our lives. Therefore, being right with God equips us with the right values and principles because the characteristic of a strong relationship is when both parties have aligned values.

In short, your relationship with God determines your relationship with people.


With this knowledge, right relationships will develop when we meet that special someone with similar values.

Values are like magnets, except that similar values attract and different ones repel. They’re strong magnets in that once they’re attracted; it’s hard to pull them apart.

But sometimes, you’ll be attracted to someone who is cool and good looking, but is a total jerk.

In such a case, I would like to believe that there are some people who do not have values they live by to begin with. They’re simply ferromagnetic, attracted by all the magnets that pass by.

The right values are important because they’re the right kind of magnet. The right magnet knows which are precious metals and which are pseudo-metals. Foul values attract the wrong people; righteous principles separate the good from the bad.

So what are these strong values? Let’s take this week to meditate on what you feel are the principles we should live by. We shall look at scripture for the next few weeks find out which are Godly values and which are secular ones.

And then, the right people will like you. People God deems you need in your life.

God bless you and have an amazing week!

– Tobias


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