Bible Study: To Love Is To Give, Not To Take – John 3:16 #1

Song Of The Week

Song: Message To Myself by Roo Panes

Mood: Visiting your favorite place as a child for the very last time.

Tastes: Salty


For God so loved the world that He gave. 

It’s a cause-and-effect statement. Because he loved us so much, He gave up everything. God is a go-big or go-home kind of God. He didn’t give up His spare change, He didn’t give up His old blankie, He didn’t give up His car, His house. No, He gave us His one and only begotten, beloved Son – all that He had.

Imagine giving up 10% of your life savings to your mother-in-law. Now imagine giving up 50% of your life savings to your enemy. How about 100% of your life savings to people who formed a cult to disprove your benevolence. 

Imagine giving up everything you worked for to a bunch of rebellious, immature, selfish people. 

I for one can’t even imagine the extent of God’s love for us. And that how it’s meant to be; His love for us is beyond measure, without measure.


How To Be A Better Partner In A Long Term Relationship?

Superficial love is to take. True, deep, authentic love is to give.

Taking their affection, love, and attention. True love is about giving of all kinds. 

Giving of love and affection. Giving of time and attention. But most importantly, it’s about giving the benefit of the doubt. For to love, is to give people the benefit of the doubt, just like how Jesus did. 

Love is innately unselfish. It puts people in front and above of you so that you protect and care for those you love. Whether is by giving kisses or the time of day to ensuring that their hearts are protected from self-doubt and uncertainty. 

A great predictor of future behavior is to look at past behavior. Being God, of course, he knew of people’s past behavior. Yet, despite this, He still freely gave the benefit of the doubt. 

So how do we give people the benefit of the doubt? In law terms, it’s to employ the practice of “innocent until proven guilty”. 

So, say if your partner has been working overtime lately, we shouldn’t jump to the conclusion that they’re being unfaithful. It’s been found that most unsuccessful marriages are because of poor communication. So, what better way to connect with your partner than simply communicate? 

This brings me to this common and wrong notion: Your partner should know every tiny little thing about you without you even saying. It’s incorrect and toxic to think this way. It’s not something that should be encouraged. We’re human. We’re not Jesus. We can’t read people’s minds, not even if we love the multitudes in them. Our authentic selves are built on an infinite multitude of emotion and experience. Being your authentic self with someone you love means there is bound to be gaps in your relationships that can only be filled by communication.

Therefore, we have to give our loved ones the benefit of the doubt when we face something we don’t know how to deal with in the relationship. Only then can we declare that we truly love them.

Call To Action

Look within yourself and find it in yourself to fight the anger and hurt when your partner does something that hurts you because sometimes (most times), the things that our partners do that affect us are solely based on miscommunications. Love people like how Jesus did: To give people the benefit of the doubt.

God bless you and love each other!

– Tobias


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