Closed Heart Series: How To Forgive Someone Who Hurt You

Song Of The Week

Song: I Got U by Duke Dumont

Mood: Down at the beach sipping on some coconut juice watching the sunset.

Tastes: Sweet


How to be a better you?

When I was 10, I told my friend who my crush was. Not long after, I was the laughing stock of the class because of my feelings towards that girl.

I’ve always been someone who trusts easily. When I made new friends, we quickly become close and secrets were traded quickly. This is a problem in and of itself. Not everybody is a loyal friend. Not everybody can keep secrets.

Because of incidents like these, I’ve learnt to stop trusting people. I know, it’s an extreme precaution, maybe too over-the-top. But can you blame me? I was 10.

As I grew, I’ve learnt that having a cold, closed heart isn’t right. You’ll hurt the people you love and love the people whom aren’t good for you. It’s the way satan traps you in a cycle of regret and hatred.

The devil makes you regret what you did and makes you hate yourself for doing it. But because of a closed heart, you’ll keep on doing it over and over again.

Are you ready to move on to a better life? A better you? First, we have to understand what a closed heart really means.

A closed heart means to turn away from anyone. To ignore everyone and everything, living solely for your own egotistical needs. It’s to turn away from God.

A closed heart means to clutch so hardly onto your hurts and your own needs that it cramps. Just like muscle, your heart will clamp up. It becomes hardened, not the way God intended it to be.

He made us to be vessels for His love.

I love the illustration of how love is like water.

Imagine your heart is like a filter, separating the good from the evil and vice versa. A soft heart is an effective filter, differentiating the two easily.

But, a hardened, closed heart isn’t effective at all. It’s like using a sheet of metal to filter water – it just doesn’t work. Neither good nor bad gets into the heart, and nothing flows out either. Therefore, we can’t possibly receive the goodness of God with a closed heart.

We can’t afford to open up later: After he apologizes to me; After God blesses me; After my parents make up; After the circumstances you’ve set God to work in.

It doesn’t work that way. We shouldn’t restrict the flow of love and forgiveness. We were made to be the light of the world. It’s like blocking the light of a lighthouse; Many will be in trouble if the lights are turned off in the middle of a storm.

So how can we soften our heart?

What I like to do is to actively remind myself that everyone has their own stories. Everyone is going through something in their lives. Someone could have just lost their parents. Someone could have just got their heartbroken. And with this new found perspective, I put myself in their shoes. I empathize with them and treat them the way I would want to be treated if I was going through the same thing because:

“Jesus replied: “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”

– Matthew 22:37-39

Eventually, it almost becomes second nature.

You may ask: But what if they’re not going through troubles? What if they’re just mean?

“Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.”

-1 John 4:7

We were sent forth to love. Love is to give people the benefit of the doubt. So, no matter the situation, we should be the bigger people and love others first.

God bless you and have a great week ahead!

– Tobias


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